1. You don’t believe in being handed things on a silver platter. (Because you were never handed things on a silver platter)
2. Which means you work hard at the things that matter to you – whether for work, friendships or relationships.
3. But the things you don’t care about? Pfffftttt! You know better than to waste your efforts on those.
4. Because you’re pretty street-smart, you may not have done as well in school as your siblings, but you get through life pretty darn well.
5. Even as a child, you may have been a little secretive. Partly because you felt like no one understood – but mostly because you didn’t feel like you needed to tell anyone anything.
6. Through your teenage years, you spent a whole lot more time with friends rather than family.
7. Which may have something to do with how you felt like you didn’t fit in back home.
8. And you may have hated yourself for not fitting in with your family at one point in your life
9. But you embrace it whole-heartedly right now.
10. And you’ve grown so well into your weirdness, that all your friends and family know you’re a bit of a weirdo, and it’s perfectly okay.
11. You may have wondered if you were adopted at one point in your life.
12. And maybe still wonder it once in a while now LOL.
13. But you know you’re just being ridiculous – and you’re never afraid to smack yourself in the head and tell yourself you’re being ridiculous, because you’re usually astute enough to know when you are.
14. You’re pretty much the polar opposite of your siblings
15. In fact, when you were younger, you may have actually made it a point to be as different from your siblings as possible, just so people wouldn’t compare you with them.
16. Which means you probably went through a major rebel phase.
17. You grew up a lot quicker than your siblings (because you had to).
18. And even today, you continue to be one of the most independent people in your social circle.
19. People have, on more than one occasion, said that you have a pretty strong defence mechanism.
20. But you can’t really help it! And, come to think of it, do you really want to?
21. You always find yourself rooting for the underdog – because in some strange, inexplicable way, you kind of feel like you can relate to them.
22. And you get reeeeeaaally awkward when the spotlight is on you. The further we are from being the centre of attention, the better!
23. After years of growing up in a family with 3 kids or more, you have mastered the art of mediation.
24. Okay maybe not. But you’ve learnt to recognise the signs of a brewing storm and get the hell out before it hits!
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
2. If you point at the moon, you’ll get a cut behind your ear.
3. Drinking papaya milk will give you bigger boobs.
4. Leaving bits of rice in your rice bowl after a meal will cause your future spouse to have lots of acne and pockmarks.
5. Pontianaks (a kind of spirit) come with a strong Frangipani scent – but the closer it gets to you, the weaker the scent will be. Which means, when the scent fades to nothing….
6. Trimming your nails or cutting your hair at night is a reeeeally bad idea.
7. A sharp-ish tummy on a pregnant woman usually indicates that the baby will be male.
8. Telling people about your pregnancy during your first trimester is very bad luck.
9. So is opening an umbrella indoors.
I guess no one told Rihanna…
10. And walking underneath hanging clothes.
11. New mothers shouldn’t bathe after giving birth.
17. When you have a cut or wound of sorts, you should avoid eating soy sauce and seafood, as they will impede the healing process.
“I can’t eat… soy sauce..”
18. The number “4” is bad luck because it sounds like “die” in some Chinese dialects, while the number “8” is good luck because it sounds like “prosperity”.
19. Drinking coke with salt can help soothe a cough and sorethroat.
20. Rinsing your mouth with salt water will help rid you of ulcers.
21. Dragon babies are super babies!
22. Drinking cold drinks will worsen menstrual cramps.
23. Stepping on burnt hell notes’ ashes and joss sticks may cause you to be possessed, so DON’T DO IT PEOPLE.
24. Chopsticks should never be stuck into a bowl of rice, because they’ll look like incense offerings that are meant for ancestors.
27. Flipping over a fish at the dinner table is super bad luck, as it resembles a boat capsizing. Instead, you should simply remove the bone from the top to eat the flesh underneath.
28. Before entering a hotel or chalet room, you should always knock on the door before entering for the first time so any possible spirit inside wouldn’t get mad at you and, y’know, kill you.
29. Having a bird crap on your head is good luck.
30. Wearing red underwear during Chinese New Year will bring you good luck! In fact, some even believe that wearing red underwear while gambling might help you win big time!
The epitome of good luck!
31. Shaving a baby’s head and eyebrows will ensure that the hair will grow back thick and luscious.
32. When you see an accident on the road, you should take down the license plate numbers of the cars involved and purchase those numbers for the weekly 4D draw – chances are you’ll win! (And also cause a massive jam behind you!)
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
Yes, I have finally done up Nkayesel.com, with three spanking new posts to herald in this new era!
I’m still working out some kinks and stuff, so I haven’t directed the old blog here yet, but I will very very soon! As mentioned in my previous blog, WordPress users, please remember to resubscribe to this new blog for email updates, otherwise you won’t get notified of new posts.
Also, with this new domain, this means I’m now open for ads and sponsorships so feel free to drop me a note if anyone is interested! You can contact me at nkayesel@gmail.com
Since I’ll be (hopefully) earning some money from this blog now, I hope this means I’ll be less lazy and update it a whole lot more frequently. Also, health-wise I’m doing a lot better now, so I really don’t have any excuse to skive off this blog anymore heh.
So remember to check back here for more posts in the coming weeks! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my latest entries:
Thank you so much for reading! Oh, and that amazing fireworks photo was taken by a local photographer, Nicholas Yeo. I meant to credit him below the photo but apparently that’s not an option for featured images.
1. Your idea of a drink isn’t some dessert wine, a fruity cocktail or a cosmo – it’s a beer. A pint of delicious ice-cold beer.
2. Conversations about manicures, the latest beauty trends, cool new hairstyles etc completely lose your attention.
3. But okay, to be honest, being a complete failure at painting your own nails may have something to do with that.
(I’m sorry but that last one looks remarkably like my rabbit’s cecotropes – as in shit. It literally looks like shit.)
4. When you watch the Oscars, you are actually interested in the films that win Oscars, instead of the people labelled “best-dressed” or whatever it’s called.
5. You try really hard to engage in conversation with other girls, but eventually you end up saying something completely inappropriate… and the conversation dies down into a painful, painful awkward silence.
.
.
.
6. You can’t deal with other girls’ indecisiveness about everything.
“So what do you guys wanna eat?”
“I don’t know… I really want a burger but I’m really watching my weight so I don’t think I should maybe I should get a salad but I’ve been eating so many greens I’m so sick of it maybe we should check out this new seafood place but I heard it isn’t that great blah blah blah blah blah”
7. And watching the way some other girls deal with relationships completely drives you crazy.
Girly girl: “Guy A is so sweet and nice and amazing but Guy B is so cute I don’t know what to do blah blah blah blah blah”
Me: “I want to kill you”
8. You just can’t get excited about the stuff that usually gets girls excited.
10. But you must admit – you do get sucked into it from time to time heh.
11. Squealing gives you hives.
12. You never understood the concept of hugging your friends every time you say hi and bye. Like. Like. Like. Why.
13. You’d rather kick back with a beer at a park or someone’s home than go for brunch or shopping together for hours on end.
14. On that note, you firmly believe that shopping should be a solo affair. It’s so much quicker – and you don’t have to lie about whether something looks good on your friend!
15. You have no idea how to deal with other people’s feelings.
16. You cringe whenever someone screams “LET’S TAKE A SELFIE”
17. And you can never understand the whole going-to-the-toilet-in-groups thing. Why would you want to hear each other tinkle?
18. You know girls are supposed to share clothes and makeup and stuff. But having someone use the same lipstick as you really, really grosses you out.
19. But hey if anyone ever needs a spare tampon, you got this.
20. You can totally appreciate a hot guy like Ryan Gosling – but you simply can’t gush over anyone for more than a minute. Like what more can you say after “Oh wow he’s cute”?
21. You hate it when you have to wait for people to snap a million shots of their food before eating. Like. Food is for eating man. Not taking photos of!
22. Oh, and salads and yoghurt? THOSE ARE NOT MEALS. BURGERS AND STEAKS ARE MEALS.
23. You relate so much better to celebrities like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Jennifer Lawrence as opposed to Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Alba or… any character on Sex and the City.
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
Just a reminder to everybodaye! I’m getting heaps of followers on nkayesel.wordpress.com, but please note that I won’t be updating there any longer – I will only update http://nkayesel.com
So please follow my new domain and not my wordpress one or you won’t get any updates on my new posts!
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
1. Amanda Abbington, who plays John Watson’s new wife, Mary, in the series, is actually Martin Freeman’s long-time partner.
2. And the nice elderly couple in The Empty Hearse who turned out to be Sherlock’s parents? Well, they are actually Benedict Cumberbatch’s parents.
3. The code used to activate the bomb in The Empty Hearse is simply 0-5-1-1-1-3, as in 05/11/13, as in the 5th of November. Remember, remember?
4. In the scene where Mary reads off John’s blog in The Empty Hearse, she’s actually reading off a line from the second Sherlock Holmes novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of the Four, word for word.
5. John and Mary’s wedding scenes in the second episode, The Sign of Three, were shot in different locations in Bristol, including:
The Orangery at Goldney Hall
And St Mary’s Church in Sneyd Park
6. Even though the mystery of Major James Sholto in The Sign of Three was largely inspired by the novel The Sign of the Four, the novel was never about John and Mary’s wedding, but of their meeting and the eventual wedding proposal.
7. In the novels, John and Mary get married “off-camera”, but showrunner Steven Moffat felt that having Sherlock play bestman for a day would’ve been too good an opportunity to pass up – a thought Moffat had when he was just 12 years old.
8. In the third episode, His Last Vow, Mary Watson’s real initials are revealed to be “A.G.RA” – a reference to The Sign Of Four, the original novel Mary first appeared in, where something called the Agra Treasure was central to the storyline.
9. Despite his amazing portrayal of Charles Augustus Magnussen, the powerful and, honestly, downright terrifying main antagonist of season 3, Danish actor Lars Mikkelsen was actually a street performer for a few years, travelling around Europe juggling and miming for tips.
10. If you were a little confused by the whole crazed Sherlock fan (Philip Anderson played by Jonathan Aris) thing in The Empty Hearse, it might have been because you missed the mini-episode BBC One released on Youtube on Christmas Eve. Titled Many Happy Returns, the mini-episode was meant to be a prequel to season 3, and is every bit as amazing as a regular-sized Sherlock episode ^^
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
Of course, these can still be found in places like Bugis Street, Chinatown, Pasar Malams, the occasional cart here and there, and in various parts of Malaysia, but it’s nice to relive these memories anyway.
1. Ding Dang Tang, also known as kok kok candy, which gets its name from the sound made when hacking the candy apart into manageable, edible pieces – often in front of the buyer.
5. Ice balls – sort of like your regular Ice Kachang, but without the added ingredients below the ice – plus you eat them with nothing but your hands because back then, hygiene concerns weren’t yet concerns heh.
7. Gao Lak – Chestnuts roasted on wooden pushcarts. They probably fell out of fashion when littering laws came into effect and tossing the chestnut shells behind you as you walked would earn you a fine – I know because I had such great fun peeling and littering chestnut shells all over the place when I was in China.
Source: BoringSingapore.com
8. Tutu Kueh – A rice flour kueh with shredded coconut or peanut fillings.
15. Tau Huay – A beancurd dish that didn’t used to be a solid like the popular Lao Ban variety today. It is traditionally melt-in-your-mouth soft, served in sugar water, sometimes with peanut dumplings (tang yuan).
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
1. “Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
2. “A very small man can cost… a very large shadow”
3. “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.”
4. “Winter is coming.”
5. “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.”
6. “I am Daenerys Stormborn, and I will take what is mine – with fire and blood I will take it.”
7. “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
8. “Someday, I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.”
9. “He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.”
10.”And now I’ve struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?!”
11. “I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen of the blood of old Valyria, I am the dragon’s daughter, and I swear to you that those who harm you will die screaming.”
12. ” Don’t ever betray me. Because I’ll cut your pretty cock right off, and wear it around me neck.”
13. “It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.”
14. “Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling.”
15. “Oh, a monster? Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Monsters are dangerous, and just now kings are dying like flies.”
16. “Powerful families often forget a simple truth I’ve found.”
“Which truth is that?”
“Knowledge is power”
“Seize him. Cut his throat. Stop, wait. I’ve changed my mind. Let him go. Step back three paces. Turn around. Close your eyes.”
Because there are a ton I would love to unfollow, and most probably have.
The Obtuse
The people who don’t understand and will probably never understand what satire is. Ever.
The Spammer
Exhibit A:
Okay, we get it. You love Soulja Boy.
The Troll
The only reason why you had him on Facebook/Twitter in the first place was because you actually know him personally. But when that person turns around and decides to be a smartass on you, it’s really not worth the grief.
The Humblebragger
ALSO KNOWN AS THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.
“I have so many followers I feel so pressured to keep them happy”
“Don’t know why but I eat so much and I just can’t put on weight. What a curse!”
“I had such a busy day, I ran all over town for three back-to-back meetings where I met this big shot from some big shot firm and my boss praised my presentation. Barely had time for lunch at this high-class restaurant where I ate steak and caviar before finally coming home to my amazing boyfriend who showers me with glitter, rainbows and butterflies. EXHAUSTED.”
The Relentless Selfie Factory
The people who are obviously afraid you’ll forget their face one day.
Okay.
The Incoherent
They’re obviously very passionate about something or other – but you’re just not sure what.
The Pseudo Intellectual
The Dramaddict
Their lives always have some sort of drama or other, and they fail to understand that maybe, just maybe, they’re the ones inviting their own drama?
The Serial Online PDA Offender
Couples who just don’t understand the concept of “GET A ROOM!”
The Inside Joker
Y’know, the people who tag a million of their friends in every post laughing about that awesome night that day. OR THE PEOPLE WHO DIG UP YOUR OLD PHOTOS AND COMMENT ON EVERY ONE OF THEM SO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOUR HIDEOUS PHOTOS IN THEIR NEWSFEED.
Okay that last one is probably more personal than anything else LOL.
Who would’ve thought the cupcake craze would’ve put Singapore on the map? Made out of 20,000 cupcakes and measuring 110.60 square metres, the world’s largest cupcake mosaic was created by the Ayer Rajah Community Centre Youth Club, Shatec Institute and other volunteers in Singapore on 29 July 2012.
The world’s largest cupcake mosaic. Source: Urban Wire
2. The world’s longest satay
To be fair, we probably didn’t have much competition here. But hey, it’s something. Created by the Kopitiam Group at Lau Pa Sat on 21 July 2007, the satay was made out of a whopping 150 kg of chicken, grilled by 150 people and measured 140.02 m (459 ft 4 in).
3. The world’s largest collection of tortoises and turtles
Yes. Someone in Singapore loves tortoises and turtles so much, he made it to the Guinness Book of Records. I’m talking about one Danny Tan, who, as of 16 June 2005, owned 3,456 tortoises and turtles, which included over 1,000 live specimens. See them with your own eyes at The Live Turtle and Tortoise Museum, at Chinese Gardens!
“Ride on, brother”
4. The world’s first bioluminescent flower
Long before the idea for Gardens by the Bay was even conceived, Prof. Chia Tet Fatt from the National Institute of Education created the world’s first bioluminscent flower on 1 December 1999. Using the lucifrase gene from FIREFLIES and combining it with a white-petalled orchid known as Dendrobium White Fairy #5, he made the flower glow a greenish-white light for up to 5 hours.
Last February, Jeffrey Ng decided it would be fun to slide his beer clean across a 14m bar at the launch of Guinness Draught in a Bottle. A Guinness record at a Guinness event? I think it’s only fitting, aye?
Jeffrey Ng looking intense at the Guinness event. Source: Ivan Teh
6. The world’s largest ant farm habitat
One of the better shows of bus stop advertising in Singapore, Colgate created a bus shelter ad made of a special gel manufactured in China and released 300 ants into a tooth-shaped case. The ants started digging into the gel, creating the illusion of a decaying tooth.
The actual Colgate ad back in 2008. Source: Behance.net
7. The most number of vinyl records smashed in 30 seconds
8. The longest scuba submergence in a controlled environment
Famed local adventurer Khoo Swee Chiow broke the world record for the longest scuba dive by spending 220 hours (that’s almost 10 whole days!) underwater in 2005.
Khoo Swee Chiow looking proud of himself. Source: Everest News
9. The world’s largest lantern parade
Hurray for local culture! Singapore made it to the Guinness Book of Records for holding the world’s largest lantern parade consisting of 10,568 participants. The parade was organised by the Land Transport Authority of Singapore.
On top of creating the world’s biggest cupcake mosaic, we also made the world’s largest can mosaic, consisting of 101,616 used beverage cans formed into the shape of Singapore. The can mosaic was formed by the Yew Tee Community Club Youth Executive Committee on 14 December 2008.
11. The world’s largest three dimensional balloon sculpture
Balloon artist Lily Tan rolled out (geddit?) the world’s largest 3D balloon sculpture titled Sentinel, using 79,854 balloons. The Transformers inspired sculpture took a total of 42 hours over three days to put together. It was displayed at Marina Square Shopping Mall.
Balloon robot sculpture, Sentinel, created by Lily Tan and her team of 50. Source: Ivan Teh & Farm8
12. The world’s largest Cha Cha dance
Organised by Edgefield Primary School on 17 July 2011, the dance involved 3,379 participants, including the school’s pupils, their parents, and staff.
Limbo may not be very much part of our culture, but Global EduHub Pte Ltd managed to make it to the book of records anyway – and for charity too! The event was held on 1 October 2011 to raise money for the Children’s Cancer Foundation. Held at ITE College West, 1,208 participants helped raise SGD $5,000.
Obviously not from the actual event.
14. The world’s largest game of musical chairs
Remember those games of musical chairs we used to play? Well, Anglo-Chinese School (ACS) turned one of those games into a Guinness Record, bringing together 8,238 people on 5 August 1989.
Not from the original event either. But it cracked me up.
Fifteen-year-old Xu Chong Wei eventually won after 3.5 gruelling hours. Who knows what the prize was. Maybe it was…
15. The world’s largest ‘pass-the-parcel’
In 1998, 3,918 students from the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) somehow found the patience to unwrap 2,200 layers of wrapping paper from a parcel – which took two and a half hours.
16. The world’s largest egg and spoon race
Played by 1,308 participants on 27 July 2008 at the Singapore Polytechnic (SP), the record was eventually broken in 2012 by Morecambe Community High School from the UK in 2012 :( They had 1445 participants.
17. The world’s smallest optical mouse
Moving onto the geeky stuff, inventor Ng Kai Cheong created the Z-Nano mouse, the world’s smallest optical mouse, which is so small you have to operate it with a finger. And yes, it is currently on sale.
The guys at A*STAR Institute of Materials Research and Engineering created gears so small, you literally couldn’t see them if you tried. The gears are molecule-sized, and can be rotated clockwise or anti-clockwise by nudging them with the probe of a Scanning Tunnelling Microscope. True story. You are currently looking at 5 million of these gears.
19. The world’s longest colour sequence
Sancy Suraj Singh, amazingly managed to memorise a sequence of 160 randomly generated colours flashed on a computer screen for 2 seconds each and recorded the exact sequence on a piece of paper with a perfect score, setting the record on 14 April 2012 at Simei ITE College East.
Not exactly something to be proud of, but in 2009, Dr Ng Lay Choo extracted a 3.2 cm long tooth from patient Loo Hui Jing at the Eli Dental Surgery Clinic. Which is… pretty cool. I guess.
21. The most games of scrabble played simultaneously
For some reason, 1042 people thought it’d be fun to play scrabble. A lot. The record was set at 521 scrabble games played simultaneously by participants from 65 secondary schools and organisations. The event was organised by Northland Secondary School, Mattel SouthEast Asia Pte Ltd and Schools Scrabble Club on 14 March 2006.
Puking scrabble tiles. Much like the 1042 participants probably were by the end of the event.
22. The most golf balls hit simultaneously
In celebration of the National University of Singapore’s (NUS) 100th anniversary, a whole bunch of clubs in Singapore set out to beat the record for most number of golf balls hit simultaneously. Thank god for Singapore’s “kiasu” mentality, because even though 1710 golfers attempted the challenge, only 1453 golfballs hit the minimum distance of 100 yards so we got the record anyway.
23. The most couples married in 24 hours in a single location
Can we say “Awww”? On 20-09-2009, Singapore broke the record for the most number of couples married in 24 hours in a single location – the Botanic Gardens, which saw 163 couples wed on that day.
24. The most couples on a blind date in 12 hours
In 2005, 268 couples (which means 536 people) participated in a blind date event organised by the Joint Hall Orientation Committee of Nanyang Technological University (NTU).
25. The most number of people showering together
You’ve heard of the Zombie marathon, “Race the Dead”, held on 26 October 2013 at Sentosa’s Silosa Beach. Unbeknown to many, another feat was taking place there – 263 people thought it’d be fun to shower together. Yes, seriously. Oh, and the SingTel Grid Girls were there, which probably helped boost the numbers.
So I’ve been hearing a lot of backlash over Avril Lavigne’s latest song and MV, Hello Kitty, and decided to take a look myself. I headed over to Youtube, thinking that people were just exaggerating over how shitty it is, and didn’t expect to be half bad.
And now that I have seen it, I realised that it isn’t that the song or music video is particularly terrible. But I can sort of understand why Avril fans may have felt a wee bit disappointed with it. Fans fell in love with Avril Lavigne for her punk style. They’ve loved her for staying true to her music over the years and not selling out (not entirely anyway) to music trends, so seeing her going all bimbo cute is, to put it mildly, a little disconcerting. Sure, her music has always had pop overtones but they were always fundamentally punk/rock type tunes. Not this generic techno-pop stuff that everyone else on the radio is doing.
I would’ve expected a song like this to come from Katy Perry… or Rebecca Black. Not Avril. But like I said, it’s not a horrible song, or a horrible video. Just… not Avril.
So here are the 11 Things About Avril Lavigne’s Hello Kitty that I found disconcerting:
1. Avril Lavigne going all “Kawaii”
Avril is cool. She’s punk. She’s even kind of sexy. But kawaii cute is not how I would describe her. At all.
2. Avril Lavigne dancing
Yes, she really does pull out some… awkward moves for the video.
Let’s stick to guitar strumming and singing shall we?
3. Avril Lavigne doing a cougar-type “Meow”
Coupled with the stone-faced dancers at the back, this is possibly the least sexy “Meow” from a celebrity. Ever.
4. Avril Lavigne getting excited over a Polaroid.
5. Avril Lavigne freaking out girly style at a sushi bar.
6. Avril waving to her fans as she walks down the street with the most plastic smile plastered on her face.
7. The whole dubstep-esque beat
Sure, she simulates some guitar strumming somewhere in the beginning of the video, but it’s barely enough to placate hardcore Avril fans.
Yes, Avril. We’re shaking our heads too.
8. Oh and her guitar is pink
(Though that’s not entirely a bad thing… or is it?)
9. That cupcake skirt
Didn’t she once say she liked it better with her jeans all ripped up?
10. The whole cutesy, hyper, pouting thing she’s got going on.
11. And lastly, the terrible lipsynching
Which you’ll really have to see for yourself:
C’mon Avril! You’ve been in the business long enough! Get it together man!
And as a bonus! Here’s a gif of Avril being surprised by Hello Kitty herself!
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (see sidebar or scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
1. It’s the end of your final semester, you’ve finished your last paper and you’re elated! You’ve got a grad trip planned and some money set aside to tide you over while you take your time searching for a job – life has never been better.
2. But when the excitement of finally putting 15 years of studying behind you has worn out, it finally starts to sink in. You’ve really graduated.
3. And then you realise. You have no idea what you’re going to do with your life. Like, what is ambition?
4. You go through job search sites, swearing that arts degree has to have prepared you for something.
5. You write beautiful cover letters going on about how you’re a “hardworking and responsible worker” and how you feel you’d be “a perfect fit for the company”.
6. You play up that 3 month internship with that random company where you dabbled in marketing and “digital content management” – which really means you put together goodie bags and collaterals, and helped schedule Facebook posts.
7. After writing and rewriting that CV, you finally send it in to a dozen companies that you would reeeeally love working for.
8. The longest week (or two, or three) of your life passes you by. You jump every time your phone’s vibration goes off and twitch violently whenever a phone rings – even if the phone belongs to someone three tables away.
9. Silence.
10. Then, finally, you get a call inviting you down for an interview.
11. You dress yourself up better than you have since that first time you had dinner with your partner’s parents, fill a briefcase-like bag full of nothing but air and maybe skittles, and skip on down to your interview.
12. You all but fall into the interview room, meet with three grim-faced white collars, and smile nervously at them.
13. You crack a joke to ease the tension. Nothing happens.
14. But all in all, the interview goes okay. Nothing horrible happens, but nothing wonderful does either.
15. The waiting commences. Again.
16. In the meantime you have so much time on your hands, you start to appreciate how uncrowded the malls are on weekday afternoons.
17. You start to get so bored at home you look for any excuse to go out and do just about anything.
18. But then your funds begin to dwindle, and you really start to sweat.
19. To make things worse, more and more of your friends start getting job offers. And even though you genuinely are happy for them, you can’t help but start panicking internally even as you smilingly congratulate them on their new jobs.
20. You decide to lower your standards and send your CV out to another dozen or so companies that you… wouldn’t mind working for.
21. More waiting.
22. More friends get jobs.
23. More interviews. More waiting. You start to really lose it.
24. You ask yourself “What am I doing with my life?”on a daily basis and start to feel really talentless and unwanted.
25. Desperation sets in. You send out a couple more CVs to companies that you have never heard of and have no idea what they do.
26. Just as you’re about to give up and seriously consider a career in road sweeping, you get a call. That person from that interview you had weeks ago was really impressed with you and would love to have you on board.
27. Hurrah! You finally got a job offer! Congratulations, and welcome to the working world! It sucks. But hey at least you’ve got the cash for alcohol to drown your miseries in! Woohoo! Life is great.
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (see sidebar or scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
1. Because what else would you do when you’re stuck at home on a rainy day?
2. Or when mum’s not home to whip up a meal for you?
3. Or you’ve run out of cheese to make your signature grilled cheese?
4. Because sometimes, cup noodles and pop tarts just don’t hit the spot.
5. And because sometimes, you just want to feel fat and greasy and roll around in your own filth. And it’s okay.
6. Because there are times when staying at your computer all day sounds so much more appealing than changing out of your PJs and going out just to grab a bite.
7. Or you’re just not in the mood to be seen in public during that 15-minute trip to the nearest food centre.
8. It’s also the easiest option when you’re having a party and you don’t want to deal with planning, cooking and *shudders* washing crockery.
9. Or cleaning up broken crockery for that matter (because all your friends are drunks who can’t be trusted around any glassware).
10. Also, at 2 o’clock in the morning, short of going on an impromptu hunting trip and barbecuing your kill on the spot, there is just no damn food anywhere.
11. Oh, and at 2 in the morning? You, and everyone else you’re with, is probably too drunk to hunt anything, barbecue anything, or be capable of anything but, well, call, collect and eat.
12. And let’s face it, delivered food tastes so much better.
13. And it’s really not that expensive! Which means you can order even more than you would at a dine-in restaurant!
15. Lastly, because the only thing better than having oily, fattening, toxic food (which delivered food always is) when you’re drunk, is having oily, fattening, toxic food delivered to your doorstep when you’re drunk. And you really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Follow me on twitter, subscribe to my blog via email for post updates (see sidebar or scroll all the way down!), or keep reading for more laughs and other cool stuff!
It has been well over a year since I last updated this blog (for reasons I may or may not one day divulge), and as I sit here in my living room watching the funeral procession of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore’s first Prime Minister, I can’t help but put pen to paper or, erm, fingers to keyboard.
Singapore lost her founding father six days ago, on March 23, sparking a week of mourning. And mourn we did, with half a million people queuing for up to 10 hours to pay their final respects to his body at Parliament House, and another 850,000 visiting community sites to pay tribute to a man who is – I say “is” because he still is – well respected, not just in Singapore but across the globe in both Eastern and Western worlds.
The Internet has been split. First came tear-jerking tributes written swiftly by local media outlets and everyday Singaporeans. Half a day later, writers and journalists from the other side of the world had caught up. Some of them were kind, with tributes that addressed what he had done for our tiny island-state. Some were somewhat balanced, acknowledging his merits while bringing up his iron fist and authoritarian style of governing. And some, were just plain nasty, harping on his… unpopular decisions, such as him using the Internal Security Act, endorsing capital punishment, banning chewing gum etc.
Freedom, they say, isn’t simply the right to speak as you wish, spray paint graffiti on walls, own guns or chew gum. It’s the ability to walk on the streets without being afraid of getting mugged, to have women return home late at night alone without worrying too much about getting raped, or to get into a cab without being afraid of getting cheated.
Of course, there’s a wide spectrum of stories out there, but it’s hard to keep track of the many quotes, stories, opinion pieces, commentaries etc floating around on the web.
On a local front, we lauded him for taking Singapore from third-world to first in a single generation. But we admired him even more for the love he had for his late wife, Mdm Kwa Geok Choo, who passed away at home in 2010 while Mr Lee was in hospital.
Their story is one that would melt the heart of any. Secret marriage, matching intellects, and a loving dedication to each other that drove him to read poetry to her every night for years when she was bedridden from a stroke.
It’s funny, but when I was a young girl in the 90s, I recall adults grumbling about Mr Lee’s “dictatorship” when he was ruling from 1965 to 1990. Somehow, over the years, as he softened, so did people’s views on him.
When his love story with Mdm Kwa emerged, we started to see Mr Lee Kuan Yew as more than just a politician. He was human.
And now, more stories of his kindness have sprung up – many from those of the Pioneer Generation, revealing actions that could not have been of a cruel “dictator”.
I read about the old man whom Mr Lee had helped in court decades ago, his kindness to journalist Chua Mui Hoong when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and most touching of all, the letters he wrote to the late Mrs Patricia Ng who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer back in 2003. Perhaps that last one was particularly moving for me, as I was close friends with her youngest daughter back then and had attended her funeral.
The best gauge of a person after he has passed isn’t from the laws he had passed, the public speeches he had made or the books he had written. It’s the personal memories people have of him. And so far, most or all personal anecdotes circulating on the web to do with Mr Lee are indicative of a kind, warmhearted man.
Sure, now isn’t the time for people to reveal scathing memories of their interactions with him, but that wouldn’t have stopped the most vengeful of people. And, yes, he has made unpopular decisions. But as he said during an interview with the New York Times in 2010: “I’m not saying everything I did was right, but everything I did was for an honourable purpose.”
I don’t know about you, but Mr Lee Kuan Yew as he is portrayed today strikes me as a man capable of great love – for his family, and for his nation. And if there was just one thing we can learn from him, it’s his ability to have such love for the things that matter to us.
We cannot deny the love he had for his wife, and we cannot deny the love he had for his nation. If he did things that people disagree with, I somehow think he did it for the good of the country; I don’t believe he was the sort to chase ambition, fame and glory.
A taxi driver once told me the People’s Action Party (PAP) used to rule with the love for the country – and I can’t help but think he was talking about Lee Kuan Yew and his generation of leaders.
In the past week, his death has probably brought out more kindness in Singaporeans than the Singapore Kindness Movement has in its 18 years of existence. People bringing food and water for avid queue-ers, staying up late to ensure everyone is well-fed and watered, letting the handicapped and elderly in ahead of them before the priority lane was set up, and the list just goes on.
Strange things happened this morning. Pedestrians waved “thank you” to us with a smile as they crossed the roads, and a cleaning auntie at Tampines Round Market thanked me for visiting the food centre.
I’m not sure if people are feeling particularly benevolent to their fellow countrymen in this period of our nations’ mourning, but I really hope it lasts.
It would be nice if Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s legacy were more than our economy and sky scrapers, but a kind nation capable of great love.
Perhaps the best way to commemorate Mr Lee’s legacy is to live life with love, be it for our family, our country, our jobs, our neighbours or wherever our passions lie.
People question, how has Lee Kuan Yew affected you in any way? Well, apart from owing my entire life as it is to him, Mr Lee is an inspiration to be tenacious (even in chasing lofty dreams that involve making a country lacking in natural resources a first-world nation); to be brave in making tough, unpopular choices; to be kind even if there is no gain to be had, political or otherwise; and to love.
Now, as I watch the cortege travelling through iconic landmarks of Singapore, and thousands of Singaporeans lined up along the route chanting his name, throwing bouquets, singing “We are Singapore”, shouting “We love you”, I can’t help but think many would agree.
